Advice  to  the  Ladies  of

Fir･ foｰ the Courtier look to his E･ate,
    befoｰe he too far be pｰoceeding ;
He of Court Favours and Places will pｰate,
    and テttlements make of his Bｰeeding :
Noｰ wear the Yoak with dull Country Clown,
    although they are fat in their Purテs ;
Bｰuド you with Bｰi･les, and roping full Fowls,
    make Love to their Dogs, and their Hoｰテs.

But above all the rank Citizens hate,
    the Court, oｰ the Country chuテ rather,
Would you have a Blockhead that gets an E･ate
    by the Sins of the Cuckold his Father ?
The ハeaking Clown intriguing does mar,
    the Pｰentices huffing and ranting ;
Cit. puts on his Swoｰd, when without Temple-Bar,
    and goes to Whitehall a Gallanting.

Let no パｰuce Officer keep you in awe,
    the Swoｰd is a thing Tranナtoｰy ;
Noｰ be blown up by the Lungs of the Law,
    a Woｰld have been cheated befoｰe you :
Soon you will find your Captain grow bold,
    and then 'twill be hard to o'rcome him,
And if the Lawyer touch your Copy-hold,
    the Devil can ne'r bｰing you from him.

Fly like the Plague from the huffing bｰave Boys,
    that Court you with many Bｰavadoes,
Tyr'ing your Sences with Bomba･ and Noiテ,
    and Stoｰies bｰought from the Barbadoes.
And beナdes, ever the Doctoｰ, that fool,
    who テeking to mend your Condition,
Tickles your Pulテ, and peeps in your Cloテ-フool,
    then テts up a famous Phyナcian.

Chuテ not a spark that has known the Town,
    who makes it his Pｰactice to Bully,
You'd better take up with a Country Clown
    he'l make an officious Cully ;
You with a woｰd may his Passion appeaテ
    and make him a Cuckold at leaブre ;
Give him but money to live at his eaテ,
    you may follow Intregues at your Pleaブre.

Neither admire much a Man that is wi[テ,]
    if e're you intend to deceive him,
He cunning Plots and Intreagues will [surmiテ]
    and trap you, e're you ドall perceive h[im.]
Therefoｰe beware that he never diツloテ
    your Tricks, if he do's he will slight [you ;]
He'll keep a gay Miフriピ under your noテ
    if it be but on purpoテ to パight you.
 

But if you'd thｰive, and grow wealthy a[nd wiテ,]
    then marry a doting old Sinner ;
What if you view there Old Time in h[is eyes,]
    you will by that bargain be winner ;
You may have lusty Gallants good stoｰe,
    if you can pｰoduce but th' Guinea,
And those young Coxcombs your Face w[ill adoｰe,]
    if this don't please, Old Nick is in y[ou.]

The ballad "Advice to the Ladies" was printed in London between 1686 and 1688, during R[ichard] P[ohock]'s term as Surveyor of the Press (1685-88). The broadside is by Thomas d'Urfey, but was published anonymously. For a response in the same vein, see the companion piece "Advice to Young Gentlemen." A second response is found in "As I was Rambling near Temple-Bar." For subsequent versions, see ESTC T68171 / N16946 / N13406 / N7150 (possibly by Defoe) and the response ESTC N25328;  cf. also ESTC N65806 (attributed to Swift).

The original broadside is at the British Library; a reproduction is available on microfilm in Early English Books, 1641-1700, Tract supplement A5: 2. The last two verses have truncated lines - my additions (in square brackets) are pure guesswork - and the fourth woodcut (not included) is cropped; see facsimile. Indexed as Wing D2697A and ESTC R227904.

The ballad was reprinted in Thomas D'Urfey's A Compleat Collection of Mr. D'Urfey's Songs and Odes, published in London in 1687 by Joseph Hindmarsh. The edition is slightly different from the broadside and lacks the last three verses. It is now found at the Trinity College Library, Dublin; a reproduction is available on microfilm in Early English Books, 1641-1700, 1382: 8. Indexed by Wing D2716 and ESTC R28248.